I Believe There is Life in New York City

Nothing has shaken my beliefs more than coming to College, and consequently, nothing has made them stronger.  New York City, when you walk down the street is simultaneously overwhelmingly crowded, and yet overwhelmingly lonely. There is a sense of disconnect in every face (probably even my own) a survival face that discourages contact, because that face has learned from the scams and the pick pockets and the salespeople that a kind, inviting face is dangerous. This was the place I had come. It was by a miracle alone that I went to a fellowship at New York University and God had many more miracles waiting for me there: A renewing of commitment after a summer of falling away, a new understanding of the body of Christ after being hurt by it severely, sincere believers who challenged by example not with condemning words, and finally growth in my faith.

I had been hurt by the Christian community who looked down on my mother for being divorced, who looked down on me for the non-believers I spent time with and had a heart to reach out to and love, who didn’t like my tough questions, and who had all these rules for me that would “get me to heaven”. In response to this, I fell away from God for most of my childhood. In High School, God pursued me and took me back teaching me about his Grace, and that nothing I could do could make Him love me more or less.  God taught me so much about his Grace, and I fell in love with Him. However, God’s Graciousness was really all that I focused on about God’s Character.  While this reaches to the heart of the message of the gospel, I wasn’t standing on solid ground. I fell hard, and many times away from God because I was lacking a foundation of a community and daily growth in the Word. But he was faithful, knowing my heart, and always brought me back to Himself.

But the Campus Crusade for Christ community challenged me, in the only way they could: they challenged me by example. I saw their growth, and I wanted to get on board. I learned about the power of the Holy Spirit: how I could understand other people better through His guidance, how others could know what I’m going through, without me telling them a word. I saw His healing, the power of His word in evangelism, and I saw Him do miracles, giving me words and verses I never knew I knew to share to speak into peoples lives. Most importantly, I saw His love in this group of individuals and that love opened my heart to them, and to truths that they knew from their experiences. Every day God shows me new miracles, fruits of the Spirit, and Spiritual Gifts in his children and in myself. He has even blessed with a leadership position. Daily He is reminding me that there is so much of him I have yet to learn and will be learning throughout my entire life.  And I can’t wait!